You come into the world alone and you spend every minute with yourself until you depart the world, yet you may not know yourself as well as you think you do.
Unfortunately, if you don’t know yourself, it’s hard to make progress. It’s like driving a car that doesn’t run well, but you refuse to look under the hood to optimize the engine. Unfortunately, those issues won’t repair themselves. They may well get worse and stop your car from running.
When I think of self-awareness I’m always reminded of the Johari Window developed by psychologists Joseph Luft (1916-2014) and Harrington Ingham (1916-1995), which is a tool used to demonstrate four levels of self-awareness:
In my practice I get the privilege of working with smart people from a broad range of careers who mostly struggle with managing boundaries. I know growing up I was told ‘be polite’, ‘respect your elders’ and ‘don’t rock the boat,‘ and while they were well intended phrases from my parents, they became so ingrained that they became a hinderance to me in my career.
I was one of the lucky ones. I learned it early on in my career thanks to a wonderful manager who was highly effective at managing her own boundaries. She had kid gloves when she said ‘No’ in her oh so many ways. What many people don’t realize is that when we say ‘yes’ to something we are also saying ‘no’ at the same time to something else. You may be guilty of this without even knowing it!
In order to be successful, others need to know who you are, and they can’t work it out if you are saying...
Research published by the Centre for Future Work in 2020,  shows that with the shift towards working from home due to COVID there has been an increase in the average unpaid hours of work. An increase from 4.6 hours to 5.3 hours, confirming an upward trend for the Australian worker. According to their November 2020 Report the average Australian worker puts in 7 standard 38hr work weeks, unpaid per year – a fertile breeding ground for workaholism. And before you get judgmental, we all have the capacity to become a workaholic.
While there are many perspectives on what defines a workaholic there is a shared view on three aspects . A workaholic is characterised by someone who:
While many employers enjoy the fruits of workaholics and at times encourage them, ultimately this behaviour is...
Imagine planning a holiday to an unknown destination and paying to travel aimlessly or wherever the wind blows you. Before you realize it, your time has run out, your money is spent, and you haven’t seen or experienced anything worth remembering. Sounds crazy, right? Well, this could be what happens to your year if you don’t set any goals. You run the risk of finishing the year with little achievement and lowered self-efficacy as goalsetting is positively linked to higher motivation, self-esteem, self-confidence, and autonomy .
A goal is an idea of the future or desired result that a person or a group of people envision, plan and commit to achieve. Goalsetting is the process of determining the goal.
According to Inc Magazine, 85% of goal setters will abandon their goals and only 8% of those who set goals will achieve them . Now some of that could be attributed to adjusting the goals that were initially set however based on my...
While the Summer holidays started a while ago for Australian children many working parents will have only just started to be on leave. Often the holiday season is an opportunity to spend time with family and friends, to take some time off work, or even escape for a getaway. That may still be the case for some, however for many people these holidays will look quite different. So, however you are spending your Christmas holidays, quiet and alone or busy with others, or online with friends and family there will inevitably be some stress.
The expectations of cultural norms, social events, gift shopping, and entertaining family or yourself(!) can become too much for even the most festive types. In fact, according to the American Psychological Association 8 out of 10 people expect to experience an increase in stress over the holiday season, and that's without a global pandemic or travel bans!
With stress comes a greater risk of anxiety and depression so it is important...
The holidays is the perfect time to focus on getting your sleep routine back on track. Depending on how much your sleep is disrupted it could take up to a week for your body to settle into its natural sleep routine.
Sleep occurs as a result of three interconnected processes occurring simultaneously; the opportunity for sleep, the ability to sleep and the need for sleep. When these three processes don’t overlap, we start to experience problems with our sleep. Sure, it’s normal to experience a couple of bad night’s sleep however it is important to take note of it as for some people a bad night’s sleep can become a learned habit which will then need to be unlearned at a later stage. No matter your situation, age or life stage these three processes need to intersect in order to experience restorative sleep.
While for many this may seem obvious, i.e. we need to set aside time for sleep, it is surprising how many...
One of the most important gifts you can give yourself, is wellbeing. It doesn’t have to mean jet set holidays, days at the spa or a healthy meal every now again. Wellbeing is about having good mental health, high life satisfaction, and a sense of meaning or purpose. Who wouldn’t want that for themselves? And guess what? Wellbeing can be achieved through small acts that symbolize to you, that you matter.
Unfortunately, we often become distracted by what life throws at us which leads us to neglect our own wellbeing. When time is limited, and we have an ever-growing to-do list we often sacrifice the time we had set outside for ourselves in order to complete our list of things to do. It’s often easier than explaining to someone why we didn’t get their ‘thing’ done for them.
Fortunately, there is a way that you can start to make wellness a habit and integrate it into your day whether it’s a work-day, weekend or holiday. First...
Tomorrow is the start of December, the last month of the year and a final chance to cross items off the to-do list before you say goodbye to 2020.
I don’t know about you, but I find this time of year tends to get really busy. Clients I haven’t heard from in a while get in contact, new clients make contact to quickly ‘fix’ a few things that have been bothering them, and I have my own personal organizing to do to be ready for my family Christmas. It all tends to speed up at this time of the year and I find myself looking forward to being able to relax on the couch watching the Christmas Special on TV.
Wouldn’t you love to reach the Christmas break feeling like you have some energy left to spend with loved ones? Maybe even be looking forward to connecting with others rather than wishing you could be alone for a few days to regroup before celebrating Christmas? For many of my clients December presents them with the ultimate...
You may think that developing self-discipline is about making up for limitations so that you can manage their impact more effectively. Perhaps just the thought of ‘self-discipline’ fills you with the thought of being ‘boxed in’ and ‘rigid’. These thoughts have probably been reinforced by previous attempts at changing unhelpful habits and confusing self-discipline with willpower. Willpower is about controlling thoughts and behaviour. Self-discipline is about progress and can be very empowering. Subtle, yet very different approaches.
Think back to when you managed to make a change in behaviour that was successful, how did you feel? When you overcame obstacles in your path, accomplished something, that sense of achievement leads you to believe you can do more. It can be motivating and make you feel like you can do anything.
Being able to exercise self-discipline teaches you to trust yourself and helps you to develop self-efficacy...
Until the 1950s, most people thought of sleep as a passive activity. We now know it is essential for our survival and wellbeing. It provides the opportunity for our body and mind to repair themselves and it is critical for maintaining good physical and mental health.
Sleep allows us to conserve energy, consolidate and reconsolidate memories, process information, regulate body temperature and stimulate various nerve circuits within the brain to ensure its proper functioning. The sleeping brain also helps the body’s stress response to switch off.
Sleep is not a luxury.
We’ve all suffered through days of headache, fatigue and irritability after a bad night’s sleep for whatever reason. Sure, you can make up for it with a power nap or by sleeping it off the following two nights. But when insufficient sleep becomes the norm and you’re not getting anywhere from 7 - 9 hours of quality sleep each night, then problems start developing.