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How gratitude writing practices help to manage anxiety

Gratitude is a powerful practice, especially when it’s practised regularly. Research is continuing to uncover the benefits of gratitude and the various mental and physical benefits it has on us. Let’s look at a few of those to give you an idea of what you can expect if you start to focus on experiencing gratitude daily. 

 

The benefits of a writing gratitude practice with anxiety

 

Practicing gratitude helps your overall mental and physical health because you instantly have a better outlook on life. Don’t be surprised to walk away from your latest gratitude practice, whatever it is, with a big smile on your face. Of course, the benefits don’t stop at increased happiness. Experiencing more gratitude has been linked to increased movement, a better self-image, less anxiety and even a reduction of depression. 

 

Does this sound too good to be true? Scientists have found that intentional gratitude mediations result in increased levels of...

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7 Strategies to stop making excuses for not taking action on your big goals

Are you the master of making excuses? Do you have a reason ready for every conversation when you’re asked why you haven’t taken any action towards your Big Goals yet? If so, it’s time to take action. Those Big Goals have waited in the wings long enough. Today is the day your life changes for the better! How? you might ask. Keep reading to learn some easy techniques designed to get you in to action and your life back on track, in no time.

 

7 Strategies to stop making excuses

1. Be you

If you think you can’t get anywhere because someone else already done it better, think again. Regardless of who you’re comparing yourself to, no one will tackle a problem in quite the same way you will. Instead, relax and jump into action - your way. See where being you can take you.

 

2. Step into the unknown

Holding back because you don’t know what’s going to happen next? Sometimes you just have to find your hidden adventurer and go for it. Indulge...

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When conflict isn’t bullying but a difference of opinion

Successful people have learned how to handle conflict in the workplace. They deal with it like any other situation, calmly and judiciously. They see it as an opportunity to learn more about the other person and figure out how they can use the experience to progress the situation and meet their goals. Many people, however; find it hard not to react defensively or angrily. Some people even launch a counterattack and shift the blame to the critic. That approach won’t win you any friends at work nor will it help you to get ahead. 

 

Conflict is a part of work life whether you like it or not. According to recent research by Gallup, employees are more stressed, less tolerant and more demanding of others at work. Their research shows 43% of workers are stressed each day and one in four workers experience anger by another at work daily. All this making it increasingly likely that conflict is unavoidable in the workplace. In fact, conflict in the workplace has been steadily...

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Looking to change jobs? Do your due diligence or risk experiencing workplace bullying

According to statistics 9.5% of the Australian workforce changed their employer or the business they operated in the year to February 2022. This is the highest annual turnover rate since 2012, and it represents a 7.5% increase compared to February 2021. This is what the great resignation was referring to. We all knew that coming out of Covid it would be tough for a whole host of reasons; keeping and finding good employees is one of those reasons. I’ve heard stories of people being offered a financial incentive to stay in their current role and I’ve also heard about people who have moved jobs for a substantial increase in take-home money. Perhaps you were one of them? As we see workplaces returning to business as usual, there is also a pressure on recruiting staff and headcount and it’s having a disastrous impact on mental health.

 

Increasingly I am starting to see capable, confident, conscientious employees seek out counselling for workplace bullying. They...

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Life after a breakup: Landing on your feet

Someone once said that to move on after a relationship takes half the time you spent together. So, if you were in a one-year relationship, it’s okay if you take six months to reflect, reminisce and heal. 

 

Yet, that can be hard if the breakup was a surprise that you didn’t see coming. Often when a relationship comes to an end and you both agree that dissolving it is in the best interests for both of you, it is easier to accept even though it is still painful, and you may take time to heal. However, when it’s a surprise and not your choice, it can be hard to understand, accept and to move on from. For clients who are devastated by the ending of a relationship, it can take as long as it takes to process and heal from the experience.

 

From my observations, those who reach out for counselling to process the experience are keen to emerge from the experience stronger, they’re reluctant to make the same mistake again, and they’re keen to be...

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Co-dependence will set you back, no matter the area of life

It’s hard to know the prevalence of co-dependent relationships as it is not exclusively found in romantic relationships or where there is addiction. It can occur wherever there is a relational dynamic, i.e., at work, in friendships, romantic relationships, and family relationships.

 

What is co-dependency?

Co-dependency is a dysfunctional relationship dynamic where one person assumes the role of “the giver,” sacrificing their own needs and wants for the sake of the other, “the taker". I often explain it to clients as the experience of “I’m ok if you’re ok”. This explanation is often easier for clients to hear as the idea that they could be co-dependent is often a shocking prospect because that isn't how they've interpreted it.

 

Often co-dependency gets mistakenly labeled as kindness however if the intention is for harmony and keeping the peace, it’s more about co-dependence. 

 

How does co-dependence...

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Fierce independence could be blocking your efforts to connect with others (both in and outside of work)

In my practice I often see clients who are struggling along the interdependent - independent continuum. Often, they’re over-collaborative with little independence (co-dependent) or they’re perceived as insensitive by exercising too much independence (fierce independence). It’s a continual struggle for them to find the right mix of asserting their needs and being mindful of the needs of others (interdependence). Both approaches of co-dependence and fierce independence have drawbacks. 

 

Not asserting your needs or dismissing them in favour of what someone else wants only leads to resentment and regrets later down the track; and asserting your needs at the expense of others can leave you feeling exhausted, lonely, and distrustful of others. Neither strategy produces fulfilling personal or professional relationships. 

 

Take Julia* who is a professional woman in her 30s. She has a lot to be proud of. She’s smart, got a job, has supportive...

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6 Strategies to consider when making life changing decisions

Have you been sitting on a decision hoping that the answer will emerge only to find that waiting for it is making you feel more agitated and upset? That is how many of my clients feel before they book in to see me. 

 

In the last couple of weeks, I have started working with a number of people who are struggling to reach a decision on their own. This is not because they lack the necessary decision-making skills or that they lack the necessary information to make the decision but more because whichever decision they make, someone close to them will be upset or let down. 

 

These aren’t decisions about what car to buy, although it’s important, but rather life-changing ones like which country to live in, who to settle down with or to start a family or not. These decisions tend to take more time and require deeper thought so it’s not unusual for you to sit on them and wait for an indication on what to decide. However, if waiting for a clue is...

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Perfectionism: Is it keeping you up at night?

Are you lying in bed at night ruminating on how you could have done better worrying if others noticed that you could have done better too? Are you punishing yourself for not meeting your own expectations? Are you making mental notes about what you’d do differently next time and who you perhaps need to smooth things over with in the morning? If this sounds like you it’s possible you could be a perfectionist and it could be what it is standing between you and a good night’s sleep.

 

What is perfectionism?

Perfectionism is one of the most prevalent social values in modern society. That means that it is one of the most common strategies used by people to guide and evaluate their behaviours and to express their needs. Your perfectionism is a result of your social system i.e., culture, education, economy etc. playing a role in developing and conditioning your behaviours from a young age. 

 

As a personality trait, perfectionism is characterized by striving...

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Why people pleasers need a bucket list

goalsetting Sep 26, 2022

Are you a people pleaser?

We all want to be liked right? Yes, and some of us want to be liked more than others. It’s only natural. However, if you find yourself turning yourself inside out to get in the good books of others, to be included or well-regarded and to avoid negative feedback, then it is a strategy that has become overused. And it’s not doing you any favours. 

 

While the goal of being a people pleaser may be noble, the way it is executed can leave you feeling anxious and regularly disappointed as not everything is going to turn out how you’d hoped or planned. You cannot control how others respond to you, only how you respond to your environment and others. 

 

What’s the impact of people pleasing? 

All of this people-pleasing comes at a cost to you which you may not have yet recognised. Here are some of the main impacts: 

1. Suppressing emotions leading to stress, anxiety, fatigue and illness. Often...

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