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Rekindling intimacy & romance in your relationship when you both have limited time

According to the Australian Bureau of Statistics, the divorce rate in Australia has been steadily declining since the mid-1980s. In 2020, the divorce rate was 2 divorces per 1,000. The average length of marriage at divorce was 12.2 years. While these statistics may not accurately reflect the full picture of the divorce landscape, as many don’t formally divorce or they may have chosen to divorce in another country, it is sobering to realise that it’s most common for couples who have been married 12+ years. 

 

I remember when my husband and I celebrated our 12th wedding anniversary, and we had a 6-year-old child and a 2-year-old, and we were both working full-time. Our children are now 16 and 12 respectively. It was a very busy time for us. We were focused on getting what needed to be done, done. And if you’re not careful that pattern of behaviour can continue until one day you wake up and feel like you’re living in a house share, with no intimacy or...

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How failure teaches you to be more flexible

"The green reed which bends in the wind is stronger than the mighty oak which breaks in a storm." – Confucius

 

Researchers and scholars often point to this quote by Confucius as the basis for why it's necessary to be flexible to overcome challenges. The flexible reed bends and flows with the wind of adversity, allowing it to survive the challenge.  The strong, mighty oak isn't flexible, so the wind of adversity breaks it apart.  The new shoots that sprout from the old oak will be flexible enough to withstand the next storm.

 

We are all human and therefore failure is inevitable. For some it happens early in life and for others not until mid-life. Over the past 6 months I have worked with a number of people who were experiencing their own version of failure e.g., not being able to conceive, a relationship falling apart, and being unable to provide for a family member in the way they wanted to. 

 

With each of these experiences, my client felt like...

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The reasons we develop bad habits and why they’re so hard to break

Why we develop bad habits 

Have you ever found yourself engaging in a bad habit and wondering why you can't seem to stop? Unfortunately, it's common to fall into bad habits – whether it’s procrastination, unhealthy eating, or neglecting self-care. In your quest for self-improvement, know that discovering and understanding the underlying reasons for these bad habits is the first step toward making positive changes. 

 

Common reasons for developing bad habits

There are many reasons for taking up bad habits, but the following are among the most common. 

1. Boredom - When bored, turning to unhealthy habits to pass the time or find entertainment is not unusual. To overcome boredom-related bad habits, it’s important to find activities that are engaging and meaningful to you. This might involve taking up a new hobby, volunteering, or pursuing personal growth opportunities.

2. Stress - Stress is a common trigger for bad habits such as...

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Rewarding yourself is key to developing self-discipline

If I had a dollar for every time a client lamented to me that they lacked self-discipline, I’d be a very wealthy person right now. 

 

Everyone feels overwhelmed and bogged down by the things they need to get done each day. You’re not alone. Sometimes, you just don't want to do anything – certainly not how you thought you would feel. But deep down, you know that to be successful, you need to take regular action and find a way to get things done.

 

It doesn't matter whether you feel like it or not; you just have to do it. Successful people know that, and they have managed to find a way to get things done even when they don’t want to! They have worked out how to motivate themselves. 

 

The beauty about motivation is that it doesn't have to come from within. Instead, you can get it from outside sources like a friend or a coach, or from within yourself – even your future self. 

 

You don't have to wait for motivation. You...

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Finish 2023 strong by taking care of yourself

No matter how you divide up the 2023 calendar year, there are still 365 days in it. If you work full-time with 21 days of annual leave, you’ll have 245 working days to achieve whatever it is you want to achieve professionally, and a little bit more time for what you want to achieve personally. For some that idea can be daunting however it doesn’t have to be. In order to achieve your goals, you need consistent habits to support them. To maintain consistency, you need to take care of your physical and mental health. 

 

Taking care of your mind is just as important as taking care of your body. Unfortunately, it’s easy to forget that in the busyness of the day-to-day. After all, it’s obvious if you exercised instead of watching TV or ate salmon for dinner rather than fried chicken. How you treat your mind is usually less visible and more difficult to track.

 

To stay on top of things, it helps to develop easy habits that fit into your usual...

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How to set and keep New Year’s resolutions

As the last weeks of the year are approaching, many people are thinking about food, family gatherings, and new beginnings. That’s why so many people make New Year’s Resolutions. It’s a fresh start, right?

 

Unfortunately, for most people, the resolve to keep those resolutions usually dies off after a few weeks. In fact, 23% quit in their first week, and only 36% make it past the first month. Only 9% successfully keep their New Year’s resolutions. Interestingly, research shows 59% of young adults (18-34) have New Year’s resolutions, which makes it the largest demographic that sets these goals. And 48% want to exercise more, making it the most popular New Year’s resolution. The top 3 New Year’s resolutions are all health-related; exercise more, eat healthier, and lose weight. 

 

The good news is, if you understand why, you find it hard to keep your resolutions, you’ll know what works and doesn’t work for you.

 

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How to be mindful during the holidays

The holidays can be a stressful time for anyone, and even more so when you are in charge of hosting a holiday party, having family stay with you, are experiencing financial constraints, or have a lot of responsibilities. Never mind trying to meet work deadlines while all of this is looming. 

 

This can all take away a lot of the joy of the holiday season, no matter which holiday your family celebrates. But with mindfulness, you can learn how to let the unnecessary stresses go and live in the moment. It allows you to really appreciate every moment you are given throughout the holidays and finally enjoy yourself again.

 

What is Mindfulness?

It sounds complicated, but it really isn’t! Mindfulness is simply the act of focusing on the present moment you are in. You take out the expectation, judgment, regret, or guilt, and simply accept what is. The more you can be mindful during the holidays (and the rest of the year), the more grateful and stress-free you will...

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5 Secrets to self-motivation

Why is it that motivating others is easy, but you struggle to motivate yourself? There’s always another distraction to divert you from what you need to be doing; another task that needs to be done; another deadline that needs to be met. Somewhere else to divert your energy. 

 

You need to learn how to do what needs to be done, no matter how you feel about it or how much you would prefer not to be doing it at all. One of the secrets of self-motivation is to get your internal gears turning the right way so that you recognize your own strength, self-worth and value. Let alone hard work. Exercising your self-motivation muscles builds inner strength. 

 

No doubt you have goals you are working towards. Would you believe that the degree of self-motivation you allow yourself determines how hard you’re willing to work to achieve your desired results. True!

 

So, in a nutshell, with self-motivation, anything is possible for you. But, on the other hand, if...

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How gratitude writing practices help to manage anxiety

Gratitude is a powerful practice, especially when it’s practised regularly. Research is continuing to uncover the benefits of gratitude and the various mental and physical benefits it has on us. Let’s look at a few of those to give you an idea of what you can expect if you start to focus on experiencing gratitude daily. 

 

The benefits of a writing gratitude practice with anxiety

 

Practicing gratitude helps your overall mental and physical health because you instantly have a better outlook on life. Don’t be surprised to walk away from your latest gratitude practice, whatever it is, with a big smile on your face. Of course, the benefits don’t stop at increased happiness. Experiencing more gratitude has been linked to increased movement, a better self-image, less anxiety and even a reduction of depression. 

 

Does this sound too good to be true? Scientists have found that intentional gratitude mediations result in increased levels of...

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7 Strategies to stop making excuses for not taking action on your big goals

Are you the master of making excuses? Do you have a reason ready for every conversation when you’re asked why you haven’t taken any action towards your Big Goals yet? If so, it’s time to take action. Those Big Goals have waited in the wings long enough. Today is the day your life changes for the better! How? you might ask. Keep reading to learn some easy techniques designed to get you in to action and your life back on track, in no time.

 

7 Strategies to stop making excuses

1. Be you

If you think you can’t get anywhere because someone else already done it better, think again. Regardless of who you’re comparing yourself to, no one will tackle a problem in quite the same way you will. Instead, relax and jump into action - your way. See where being you can take you.

 

2. Step into the unknown

Holding back because you don’t know what’s going to happen next? Sometimes you just have to find your hidden adventurer and go for it. Indulge...

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