How unresolved regrets increase your stress levels

acceptance regret stress May 08, 2022


There is enough to stress about in life without adding the stress of regret. Regret is a normal emotional experience which arises when you are dissatisfied with an outcome, when you perceive that a better outcome was available to you. Another way of considering regret is that it is a painful emotion, accompanied by actual or contemplated violation of internal values and rules in any given situation. Regret is also known as self-blame regret, which describes where the emotion is directed, towards the self.  


Believe it or not, research shows that the negative influence of regret is far greater than that of anxiety in terms of its impact on a person’s mental health.


Increased levels of self-blame regret is linked to higher levels of depression.


In my practice I see a lot of conscientious adults who blame themselves for not making better decisions, behaving better or blaming themselves for not feeling more content because they have achieved...

Continue Reading...

Successful career + mental health diagnosis. It's possible

Are you concerned that a mental health diagnosis for you would sound the end of your career? If you are concerned that having a mental health diagnosis will negatively impact your career opportunities, you needn’t be. I have been fortunate enough to work with many successful people who have had mental health diagnoses and in my second career as a psychotherapist, I have had the privilege of supporting clients while they establish and grow their careers with a diagnosis. What these groups of people have in common is that they have accepted their diagnosis and chosen to build a career on their own terms, so they can leverage their strengths and build a sustainable career and lifestyle.  


A mental health diagnosis doesn’t have to define who you are or what you can contribute at work. Like many well people, you just need to find your way of working, that brings out the best in you and that supports you.


If you have been diagnosed with a mental...

Continue Reading...

Laugh your way to less stress

de-stress laughter stress Apr 24, 2022

When was the last time you were relaxed enough to laugh at something? Not just any laugh, but one of those deep belly laughs that reduced you to tears!


If you are among the many adults who have a hard time relaxing, you’ll be surprised to know that there are real health benefits to laughing, and relieving stress is one of them.


What is laughter?

Laughter is the physiological respo­nse to humour. It is triggered when you find something funny. According to researchers, by the time a child reaches nursery school he or she will laugh about 300 times a day. By the time that child becomes an adult they will only laugh approximately 17 times a day. If that sounds high to you, then you may want to consider the recommendation that adults need a minimum of 30 laughs per day to positively impact their wellbeing.

Michael Miller, MD, director of preventive cardiology at the University of Maryland School of Medicine in Baltimore, recommends 15 minutes of...

Continue Reading...

Prioritise your relationship with stress to succeed

anxiety career stress Apr 10, 2022

The relationship you have with yourself is the most important relationship you are ever going to have. It influences your other relationships, and it sets the tone for how you treat yourself and allow others to treat you. Your second most important relationship, if you want to do well, is how you manage stressors.


Stress is normal and inevitable

While stress is a normal and inevitable part of modern life, it doesn’t have to be the reason why you didn’t achieve your goals. In fact, it could be the reason why you do achieve them.


In my corporate career I worked with many smart people who had varying successes in the organisations I was a part of. And while they all had the same access to learning and development, few knew how to ask for help for fear of being considered soft or weak, and even less considered their relationship with stress as their biggest obstacle. Yet in my view, it was their relationship with stress that enabled them to take a broad view or...

Continue Reading...

Workplace stress and sleep problems: they’re connected

Intuitively you know that stress and sleep are closely linked yet your inability to combine these two areas of knowledge can prevent you from taking either of them seriously. In this article I am going to take you through how they impact each other so you understand the risk of not dealing with either.


What is stress?

Stress is a biological and emotional reaction that you experience as you move out of your comfort zone and into the threat zone, irrespective of the situation. It occurs when you perceive that what is being asked of you is beyond your capability and highly likely to have an unfavourable outcome. While you are holding this emotional perception, your body is responding to it biologically. It is sending a message to your adrenal glands to produce cortisol so you can fight, flight, freeze or fawn at the appropriate time, to deal with the threat.

Biological response to stress

Adrenal glands can’t store cortisol and so when you perceive the threat has passed,...

Continue Reading...

Have a partner with different sleep needs? Here's what to do


Scientists believe that each of us has a unique sleeping chronotype that puts us somewhere on the spectrum between morning lark and night owl. With more than 60% of adults sleeping with someone else, it’s unsurprising that individual sleep patterns sometimes clash.


In fact, a survey by a leading bedroom furniture company found that 75% of couples report that they go to bed at separate times up to four nights a week. The major reasons include long work hours, socializing, or online shopping and video games.


Meanwhile, more than a third of couples say they argue because their partner disturbs them or wakes them due to conflicting schedules. 


Fortunately, you don’t have to resign yourself to a poor night's sleep just because you and your partner have incompatible bedtimes. Try these tips for enhancing your slumbers and your marital satisfaction.


Steps to take with your partner

1. Accept your differences. Individual...

Continue Reading...

Caffeine & Sleep: What YOU need to know

If you’re wondering what’s keeping you up at night, it could be the amount of caffeine that you consume throughout the day. Caffeine is safe for most adults and can even have important health benefits. On the other hand, too much of it can contribute to insomnia and other sleep problems.


Luckily pure and highly concentrated caffeine food products have been illegal in Australia since December 2019. All foods in Australia that contain caffeine, need to meet the standard of 5% or less for foods that are solid or semi-solid, or 1% or less for foods that are liquid. This helps with keeping your caffeine intake down.


The average intake of caffeine in Australia is approximately 210mg per 70kg person (equivalent to approximately 2.7 250ml cups of instant coffee or 2.6 standard 250mL energy drinks). Sales of energy drinks in Australia and New Zealand increased from 34.5 million litres in 2001 to 155.6 litres in 2010 and it has been increasing ever since.



Continue Reading...

How to de-stress at work so you sleep better

career sleep stress wellbeing Mar 12, 2022

Work-related stress occurs when the perceived demands of your work exceed your belief that you are able and capable to meet them. It can be easy to under-estimate the impact of your daily work stress however beware as work-related stress is the second most common compensated illness/injury in Australia, after musculoskeletal disorders. You are experiencing stress when you feel frustrated, angry, nervous, or anxious. 


What is stress?

Stress is a physical, mental, or emotional factor that causes bodily or mental tension. Stressors can be external (from the environment, psychological, or social situations) or internal (illness, or from a medical procedure). Stress can initiate the ‘fight, flight, fawn or freeze' response leading to a change in metabolic and cardiac processes. Continuous stress without relief can result in a condition called distress—a negative stress reaction that can lead to physical symptoms such as headaches, loss of...

Continue Reading...

Is Workplace PTSD waking you up at night?

You may not think much about waking up during the night, however if it becomes a regular occurrence, e.g. 4 out of 7 nights for a couple of weeks, then you may want to investigate it further. If normal sleep doesn't return after a week then you are starting to embed a new sleep pattern which could lead to unhealthy consequences. 

What is Workplace PTSD?

PTSD, the acronym for ‘post-traumatic stress disorder’ is most commonly associated with war veterans and jobs that encounter a lot of distress or trauma. PTSD is used to describe the lingering physical and emotional after effects of a shocking, destabilizing event. However, since the term was invented our understanding of trauma has grown. We now know that this a human response to an uncommon experience/s, and it is not a sign of weakness, rather an adaptive response to a traumatic experience or series of traumatic experiences.


Trauma is an umbrella term and includes one-time, multiple, or long-lasting...

Continue Reading...

Are over the counter sleeping pills safe?

addiction insomnia sleep Feb 27, 2022

If you regularly have trouble sleeping, it’s a sign that something is out of balance. It could be something as simple as too much caffeine, or dehydration. Or it could be a symptom of an emerging underlying medical or psychological problem. Whatever the reason, it won’t be cured with an over the counter sleeping pill.  At best, an over the counter sleeping pill will provide a temporary band aid. At worst, it’ll erode your sleep confidence and worsen your sleep problem in the long run.


Insomnia is the most common sleep problem among the public and there two recognised treatments for it; medication prescribed by a medical doctor, usually a GP; or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-i) provided by an accredited professional. The medication prescribed by a doctor can only be used safely for 2-4 weeks. The other treatment, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Insomnia is a multipronged behavioural approach that is proven to be more effective than...

Continue Reading...
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

50% Complete

Download my eBook: Strategies for Managing Your Emotions