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Fierce independence could be blocking your efforts to connect with others (both in and outside of work)

In my practice I often see clients who are struggling along the interdependent - independent continuum. Often, they’re over-collaborative with little independence (co-dependent) or they’re perceived as insensitive by exercising too much independence (fierce independence). It’s a continual struggle for them to find the right mix of asserting their needs and being mindful of the needs of others (interdependence). Both approaches of co-dependence and fierce independence have drawbacks. 

 

Not asserting your needs or dismissing them in favour of what someone else wants only leads to resentment and regrets later down the track; and asserting your needs at the expense of others can leave you feeling exhausted, lonely, and distrustful of others. Neither strategy produces fulfilling personal or professional relationships. 

 

Take Julia* who is a professional woman in her 30s. She has a lot to be proud of. She’s smart, got a job, has supportive...

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How to Declutter Your Mind

Ever felt like if you had to make another decision your head would explode? That's sign you need to declutter your mind. 

 

Decluttering your life and becoming organized starts with one important but easily-overlooked step. You need to declutter your mind first.

 

If your home and office looked anything like mine last week, it is long overdue for a declutter. While my office isn’t as neat as I’d like it to be, it’s as neat as it’s going to be before I move back into my office in the city. Research shows that if the spaces you inhabit are cluttered and disorganized, chances are your mind is too. Mental clutter creates restlessness, moving between brooding over the past to worrying about the future. You know it’s cluttered when you go through your mental to-do list and are overwhelmed at the thought of what you need to do. And that’s not all, mental clutter is exhausting and fruitless. It stops you from getting things done.

 

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