You might remember back when you were a child to how your mother or carer always told you to stop crying. You’ve probably heard a parent at some time in your life tell you, “Stop that crying, it doesn’t do any good” or “Stop crying or else I’ll give you something to cry about!” The second one was the one I heard mostly.
Depending on your parents’ parenting style, they may have handled your emotional crying in some pretty creative ways rather than encourage you to stop crying. However, if you find yourself crying spontaneously as an adult, it’s a clue that you have something to cry about and you have perhaps not understood it yet or, you haven't found the words to express yourself yet. Honestly, crying is really not a big deal. In fact, many experts believe crying is adaptive and useful, and I tend to agree.
In the past two weeks I have had a number of clients, men and women, surprise themselves and cry...
Everyone experiences anxiety from time to time. Afterall there are always going to be unexpected circumstances that come up in life that leave you feeling more worried, scared, or anxious than usual.
Experiencing anxiety is part of being human and it may surprise you to hear that it is a normal process designed to get you into action. That said, if you suffer from anxiety every now and again or if it gets in the way of your daily living, you're not alone. Millions of adults suffer from anxiety and in Australia one in five adults reported feeling stressed or anxious most/all of the time (Melbourne Institute 2021). It is the most common mental health condition in Australia.
If you are someone who suffers from anxiety on a regular basis, it can be helpful for you to learn about your triggers. Identifying anxiety triggers can help you stop an anxiety attack from happening. It can also help you lessen the severity of other anxiety symptoms.
If the thought of social get-togethers leave you feeling anxious, then you need to learn how fight or flight works in your body, so you can calm your fight or flight response when you’re with others.
These holidays you may be catching up on socializing, and you may even be celebrating the holidays in large groups. The prospect of this can be daunting and for many this can be overwhelming, especially if you are out of practice meeting in big groups, or if you prefer smaller groups and lots of quiet time. If this, is you, then you may already be familiar with the fight or flight response—a catch-all term for how humans and many other animals respond to threat. However, you may be less familiar with how this natural response becomes less helpful when activated too often.
In this blog, I’ll discuss how the fight or flight response is an evolutionary adaptation that helps us deal with immediate threats, and how it is not best suited to present-day...
Are you feeling sad about the upcoming summer holidays because they’re going to look different to what you thought they might be? Perhaps you’re unable to meet up with friends and family you haven’t seen for a while due to travel restrictions, or perhaps this time of year is just a sad time for you because it reminds you of all the things you don’t have and wish you had.
Sometimes your sad feelings can catch up with you and stay in what feels like a ever-ending circle, it doesn’t have to be that way for you. You can unwind sadness and start growing your happiness and wellbeing. Here are 12 ways you can productively deal with your sad feelings.
Rumination happens when you get stuck in your head, thinking about all the negative stuff that has gone wrong or could go wrong. Rumination contributes to so many unnecessary sad feelings and it is a key feature of depression. Stopping rumination in its tracks...
Your body is a marvelous creation! It speaks to you when it’s doing great, and it also speaks to you when things aren’t so wonderful. And that’s the beauty of it – your body gives a ton of signals to let you know it’s in need of something so you can do what’s necessary to achieve optimal overall health.
If you are like many others, you let your head rule and disregard the signals from your body. That’s just how we get conditioned as we grow up, and it continues into adulthood particularly if you’re a knowledge worker.
Last week I met with a new client who felt like he was in a rut. This felt a little perplexing for him as he was usually energetic and open for a challenge. Listening to his life story, you could describe him as a dynamic go-getter who suddenly felt he was lacking motivation and drive, and as a result his confidence was deteriorating. He was mentally and physically tired and looking for a plan to get out of...
Have you ever held back on saying something because you didn’t want to upset someone else? If you’re unsure whether to make that ask, provide that feedback or be vulnerable, listen to that indecision - take a moment to decide what to do next.
The internal debate that happens can be useful when your intention is unclear, or your motives are less than pure. It’s not about avoiding confrontation or upsetting others but rather being clear on your intention and the outcome you’re looking for. Find the positive intention. You are allowed to feel how you feel, and in order to communicate those feelings, start with these 5 tips.
1. Understand Your perspective first
If you start a conversation by reacting or shooting ‘from the hip’, chances are it won’t go well. Instead take time to understand yourself first and ask yourself ‘What is it that I want to achieve?’ and ‘how can I improve my chances of getting...
As we age, we can be forgiven for thinking that certain emotions get easier to manage. While some emotions may be easier to process, disappointment continues to remind us what we truly desire when we can’t have it. We can pretend that we don’t mind if we don’t get the promotion at work, find a significant other or have THE gift under the Christmas tree, but if we experience disappointment when it doesn’t happen, we were only fooling ourselves.
In my practice, I am often talking to people who have been disappointed by someone, something or themselves. Many of them want to make sense of their disappointment and their part it in it, so they can learn from it and get a better outcome next time. Disappointments are possible whenever we hold an expectation for ourselves or others.
With every fresh day, there is an opportunity for new disappointments. Some opt to become pessimists, that way they never look forward to anything and...
If you are constantly feeling depleted yet eating and exercising, it may be time to consider self-acceptance as an energy management strategy.
Our energy comes from four domains: physical; emotional, mental and spiritual and there are specific activities that fuel each domain. In some instances, there are particular activities that span across more than one domain and acceptance is one of them.
Acceptance is the opposite of resistance. To practice acceptance means to acknowledge how you are experiencing the myriad of experiences that make up your day/life and to be okay with the emotions you are feeling.
1. Acceptance does not mean liking, wanting, choosing, or supporting. When we get upset, we can choose to accept the situation, or we can ‘stew on it’ and wish it was better. By stewing on it, we allow that upset-ness (sadness anger, frustration) to control us and lock up energy that we could otherwise be deploying elsewhere more productively.