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3 Quick and easy steps to build self-confidence

Do you ever doubt yourself? Do you doubt you can do whatever it is you’ve set out to do? It’s perfectly normal. We all do it. Self-doubt is something anyone faces at some point in their life. And for some of us it can be a real struggle. When self-doubt – which is defined as the lack of confidence in oneself and one’s abilities – keeps us from doing that we want to do and from reaching our goals, it’s time to take action and work towards overcoming it.

 

And since self-doubt by definition is caused by a lack of confidence, the solution is obvious. We need no to work on becoming more confident. But how do you go about boosting your self-confidence? Saying “You need to be more confident” is easy, actually doing it can be a little harder - and it can be done.

 

1. 'Fake It' until 'You Make It'

I’m serious. As odd as it sounds this actually works. By acting confident, you can trick your mind into becoming a more confident...

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Why most defence mechanisms fail

In psychoanalytic theory, a defence mechanism is an unconscious psychological process that occurs to protect a person from anxiety-producing thoughts and feelings related to internal conflicts and outer stressors. The goal of these defence mechanisms is to separate the person from the unpleasant events, actions, or thoughts. They help people to distance themselves from threats or unwanted feelings, such as guilt, anger or shame.

 

Defence mechanisms are a natural way of being for humans and other animals. For example, sea slugs (main pic) squirt out their own intestines to make a veiled escape. Birds like peacocks and turkeys ruffle their feathers. Small animals like bugs and frogs carry poisons and colours on their backs to scare away predators—or punish stubborn ones. When it comes to people, unconscious patterns of behaviour provide protection against perceived threats. Unfortunately they also have the impact of separating us, when all we want is to connect in the...

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Saying 'sorry' doesn't have to be hard

A sincere apology does a world of good for both the giver and the receiver. It shows you regret the hurt or pain you caused, whether that’s inadvertently or on purpose, and it signals your desire to restore the relationship to a healthy balance.

Without apologizing, authenticity cannot be achieved because authenticity requires you to appropriately express your feelings and needs.  

Why apologizing is good for you and others

1. Provides a constructive outlet for remorse. Extending an apology helps you take responsibility for your actions and hold yourself accountable for them. This is especially true if you back up your words with positive actions to prevent it happening again. Holding on to remorse can lead to internalized anger which over time can impact your sense of self-worth.  

 

2. Improves your future conduct. By reflecting on your actions and sharing your experience with another person, you create an experience which encompasses your...

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10 Savvy ways to develop self-awareness

“Self-knowledge is the first step to maturity” Jane Austen.

 

You come into the world alone and you spend every minute with yourself until you depart the world, yet you may not know yourself as well as you think you do.

 

Unfortunately, if you don’t know yourself, it’s hard to make progress. It’s like driving a car that doesn’t run well, but you refuse to look under the hood to optimize the engine. Unfortunately, those issues won’t repair themselves. They may well get worse and stop your car from running.

When I think of self-awareness I’m always reminded of the Johari Window developed by  psychologists Joseph Luft (1916-2014) and Harrington Ingham (1916-1995), which is a tool used to demonstrate four levels of self-awareness:

 

  1. I know what I know about myself and you know it too (Known)
  2. I don’t know that about me but you know it about me (Blind Spot)
  3. We don’t know what we don’t know about me...
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Hypercritical people: 7 Strategies for dealing with them

Love them or loathe them, they’re out there! If you haven’t come across one in your lifetime yet, consider yourself lucky. I have had the misfortune to come across a few in my working career and honestly, I don’t feel better for it.

 

Fortunately, they’re easier to avoid outside of work.

 

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for feedback and improving my performance however when the feedback feels like nitpicking and makes you feel useless then you know it’s more about them than it is about you. Something I wish I’d known when it first happened to me.

 

Over the years I have learned that these people struggle to experience joy, because if they did, what would there be to give feedback on? Many I believe are looking for perfection to help them feel safe and control their environment. Another way they can do this is to take great pleasure in picking out ‘mistakes’ and bringing them to your attention. This...

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10 Savvy ways to develop self-awareness

 “Self-knowledge is the first step to maturity” Jane Austen.

 

You come into the world alone and you spend every minute with yourself until you depart the world, yet you may not know yourself as well as you think you do.

 

Unfortunately, if you don’t know yourself, it’s hard to make progress. It’s like driving a car that doesn’t run well, but you refuse to look under the hood to optimize the engine. Unfortunately, those issues won’t repair themselves. They may well get worse and stop your car from running.

 

Adapted Image by Flixabout.com

 

When I think of self-awareness I’m always reminded of the Johari Window developed by psychologists Joseph Luft (1916-2014) and Harrington Ingham (1916-1995), which is a tool used to demonstrate four levels of self-awareness:

 

  1. I know what I know about myself and you know it too (Open )
  2. I don’t know that about me but you know it about me (Blind)
  3. We don’t...
Continue Reading...
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