Love them or loathe them, they’re out there! If you haven’t come across one in your lifetime yet, consider yourself lucky. I have had the misfortune to come across a few in my working career and honestly, I don’t feel better for it.
Fortunately, they’re easier to avoid outside of work.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all up for feedback and improving my performance however when the feedback feels like nitpicking and makes you feel useless then you know it’s more about them than it is about you. Something I wish I’d known when it first happened to me.
Over the years I have learned that these people struggle to experience joy, because if they did, what would there be to give feedback on? Many I believe are looking for perfection to help them feel safe and control their environment. Another way they can do this is to take great pleasure in picking out ‘mistakes’ and bringing them to your attention. This...
You come into the world alone and you spend every minute with yourself until you depart the world, yet you may not know yourself as well as you think you do.
Unfortunately, if you don’t know yourself, it’s hard to make progress. It’s like driving a car that doesn’t run well, but you refuse to look under the hood to optimize the engine. Unfortunately, those issues won’t repair themselves. They may well get worse and stop your car from running.
When I think of self-awareness I’m always reminded of the Johari Window developed by psychologists Joseph Luft (1916-2014) and Harrington Ingham (1916-1995), which is a tool used to demonstrate four levels of self-awareness: